Posts tagged humor

When all else fails, pray.

When all else fails, pray.

The waves didn’t seem too friendly. (Re-post)

Oh how I miss my Canadian friends…

Oh how I miss my Canadian friends…

On SALE now, pre-owned mermaid bra! (Rock Islands, Palau)

On SALE now, pre-owned mermaid bra! (Rock Islands, Palau)

Who’s Your Teddy?


Watching Ted, Mark Wahlberg’s cussing (and pot-smoking) teddy bear,
feels—according to my friends—a lot like talking to me in person (language-wise at least). Ted the teddy bear is obscene and overtly straightforward, doesn’t beat around the bush, loves the party life and refuses to grow up to adulthood. But what can we really expect of a teddy bear borne out of a Christmas wish? The saving grace is the hyped moral story of friendship and commitment; while with few funny, politically-incorrect and socially-inappropriate antics, and a dashing Mila Kunis in between, Ted pulls off some justice to comedy.

Why the hell can’t you make a decent pose?! Or should I say…why the hell are you not fun when you’re in a decent pose??
My friend Emily, who contends we don’t have a single decent photo together; either I distort my face, make stupid gestures or take my shirt off as the camera clicks. She also complains she can’t post our photos on Facebook because her dad will kill her if he sees these “photos” of us—of me, and my expressions/gestures, with her.

Fun Torture Choices


Before anyone accuses me of being a potentially grave human rights violator, please let me state, for the record, that I have never—ever—done any of these (well, maybe just the one that involved toothpaste—back in high school!). Nevertheless, for a different kind of funny, allow me to share with you some ideas I’ve cooked up for torture, out of boredom in class. You’re welcome to make additions.

What I like about this place…the girls are really very, very nice! They all speak English and, for an old white man like me, they are extremely friendly. Amazing!
A 68-year old retired American…raving about Angeles City’s countless strip clubs dotting Fields Street.

She: I feel bad for your (future) wife.
Me: You think I’ll be a bad husband?
She: No. But you’re always hungry.

Nothing is more powerful than a young boy’s wish.
From the film TED (2012).

Strip-Request

Girl: I want to strip tomorrow.

Club Manager: You don’t have proper clothes.

Girl: WTF, you’re supposed to take them off anyway!

Club Manager: OK, come at 8PM tomorrow.

Political satire with a lot of humour, a bit of romance, tragedy and some good wit in between. “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” is a very refreshing piece of art. Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor delivered a very subtle but smashing work; and Kristin Scott Thomas did a hugely surprise characterisation. Beautiful cinematography and low-key but nice scoring. Another triumph, BBC Films!

Political satire with a lot of humour, a bit of romance, tragedy and some good wit in between. “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” is a very refreshing piece of art. Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor delivered a very subtle but smashing work; and Kristin Scott Thomas did a hugely surprise characterisation. Beautiful cinematography and low-key but nice scoring. Another triumph, BBC Films!

PUSSY.
An infected wound is.
I’m no feminist, and I will never understand the pain of childbirth. Not even circumcision sans-anesthesia. The closest I could fathom it with, today, is a boil popped.
The Good Mike
How many squares do you see? (Re-blog)

How many squares do you see? (Re-blog)